by admin | May 31, 2025 | Well-being
Let’s be honest for a second. How many times have you scrolled through social media, seen those perfectly curated “rise and grind” posts, and thought, “Why can’t I just be motivated like that?”
I get it. We’ve all been there, staring at our to-do lists, waiting for that magical burst of motivation to hit us like lightning. Spoiler alert: it rarely works that way.
Here’s the thing about motivation that nobody talks about
Motivation isn’t something that just happens to you. It’s not a personality trait you’re either born with or without. It’s actually something you can create, cultivate, and control. But first, you need to understand what motivation really is.
Think of motivation like a fire. You wouldn’t just sit in front of an empty fireplace waiting for flames to appear, right? You’d gather kindling, strike a match, and tend to it. Motivation works the same way.
So how do you actually create motivation?
Start ridiculously small. I’m talking embarrassingly small. Want to exercise? Start by putting on your workout clothes. Want to write? Open a document and write one sentence. The goal isn’t to complete the task perfectly – it’s to create momentum. Success breeds success, and even tiny wins count.
Connect to your why, but make it personal. Not the generic “I want to be successful” why. The real one. The one that makes you a little uncomfortable when you think about it. Maybe it’s proving something to yourself, or creating a different life for your kids, or simply refusing to settle for mediocrity. That discomfort? That’s where real motivation lives.
Create friction for the things you don’t want to do, and remove it for the things you do. Want to eat healthier? Don’t rely on willpower – remove the junk food from your house. Want to read more? Put the book on your pillow so you see it before bed. Design your environment to work with you, not against you.
Track your progress visually. There’s something powerful about seeing your progress mapped out. Whether it’s crossing days off a calendar, filling in a habit tracker, or just writing down three things you accomplished each day – make your progress visible.
Find your motivation style. Some people are motivated by competition, others by collaboration. Some need external accountability, others thrive on internal challenges. Some are motivated by avoiding pain, others by pursuing pleasure. There’s no right or wrong way – just your way.
The motivation myth that’s holding you back
Here’s what most people get wrong: they think motivation should feel good all the time. They think it’s supposed to be this constant state of excitement and energy. But real motivation often feels more like determination than excitement. It’s the quiet voice that says “I’m doing this anyway” when everything else is screaming to quit.
The most motivated people I know aren’t the ones bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm. They’re the ones who show up consistently, especially when they don’t feel like it.
Your motivation toolkit
Start with these three things this week:
- Pick one tiny habit and commit to it for seven days. Make it so small you can’t fail.
- Write down your real why – the one that makes you a little uncomfortable. Keep it somewhere you’ll see it daily.
- Design one small environmental change that makes a good habit easier or a bad habit harder.
But here’s what I really want you to know…
While motivation is incredibly important and absolutely something you can create, it’s not the endgame. It’s not your life’s purpose or your reason for being.
There’s something deeper, more sustainable, and more fulfilling than motivation alone. The Japanese have a word for it: Ikigai. And understanding the difference between motivation and your Ikigai might just change everything about how you approach your goals and your life.
Stay tuned – next week, I’m diving deep into why motivation isn’t your Ikigai, and what that means for creating a life that doesn’t just get you moving, but gets you moving in the right direction.
What’s your biggest motivation challenge right now? Drop a comment and let’s figure it out together.
by admin | Jan 29, 2025 | Mental health, Well-being, Wellness
A strange realization has been lingering in my mind for some time now—a recognition that most of my thoughts are not based on reality. Not really. They are based on my subjective experiences, a knowledge base constructed by me, not necessarily by truth.
I used to assume that what I thought must be, in some way, a reflection of reality. That my perceptions, opinions, and gut feelings had some validity simply because they existed within me. But I’ve come to see that most of what arises in my mind is just that—arising. Not from an objective, factual foundation but from a lifetime of conditioning, biases, and influences that I have absorbed without much scrutiny.
The Subjectivity of Thought
Most of my thoughts are automatic. They pop up without permission, shaped by my past experiences, the stories I’ve been told, and my adopted interpretations. But how many of those thoughts are true? How many are simply echoes of things I’ve heard or assumed rather than reflections of reality?
Even deeper, I must ask: what is “truth” anyway? So much of what I know—or instead, what I think I know—comes from human-made structures: books written by people with their own biases, cultural narratives shaped by power and historical convenience, and scientific theories that are constantly evolving. Even facts, in how we think of them, are subject to change when better tools or perspectives emerge.
If my thoughts arise from this shifting, subjective landscape, then how can I trust them?
The Mind as a Filter, Not a Mirror
I used to believe that my mind was a mirror of reality, reflecting things as they are. But now I see that it is more of a filter that distorts, colors, and reshapes everything it processes.
My thoughts are dark and cynical if I am in a bad mood. If I am happy, everything appears lighter and more hopeful. The same situation can feel entirely different based on my emotional state, my level of fatigue, or even what I ate that day. How can I trust my immediate thoughts when they are so easily swayed?
Even memory, something we tend to rely on as a source of truth, is deeply unreliable. Every time we recall something, we reshape it slightly, filtering it through who we are now rather than who we were then. The brain fills in gaps, alters details, and reinforces whatever narrative we already believe.
Living in a Constructed Reality
Beyond my own personal thoughts, the world I live in—the ideas I take for granted, the values I uphold, the rules I follow—are all human constructs. Money, laws, morality, social norms, identity itself… all are ideas that we, as a species, agreed upon.
I once thought knowledge was a ladder, something we climb to reach a higher, more objective understanding. But now, I see it more as a web—an interconnected mass of ideas, stories, and beliefs, none of which can ever be fully isolated from human subjectivity.
What Do I Do With This Awareness?
Where does that leave me if I cannot trust my thoughts? It would be easy to fall into nihilism, to say, “If nothing is certain, then nothing matters.” But instead, I see this realization as freeing.
It means I don’t have to take every thought seriously. Just because a thought arises does not mean it is true, meaningful, or worth engaging with. I can observe my mind with detachment, recognizing when it feeds me outdated beliefs, irrational fears, or baseless assumptions.
It also means I can be open to change. If my mind is not a fixed, reliable source of truth, then I do not have to be a slave to my past beliefs. I can question. I can unlearn. I can recognize that the reality I experience is not necessarily the reality and that there is always more to discover beyond my thinking.
I cannot trust my own thoughts. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe the real wisdom lies in trusting them and knowing when to let them go.
by admin | Dec 24, 2024 | Well-being
Let’s talk about something we do countless times every day, yet rarely pause to understand: making choices. From the mundane “What should I eat?” to life-altering “Should I take this job?”, our brains are constantly engaged in an intricate dance of decision-making. But what’s really happening under the hood?
It starts before we’re even aware of it. Our brain begins processing a decision the moment we encounter a choice point, drawing on a vast network of past experiences, emotions, and learned patterns. Think about the last time you walked into a coffee shop. Before you consciously started weighing options, your brain was already busy processing smells, memories of past coffee experiences, your current energy levels, and even subtle social cues from other customers.
The fascinating part? Most of this happens in our subconscious. Scientists estimate that our unconscious mind processes information about 11 milliseconds before our conscious mind catches up. We’re literally making decisions before we know we’re making them.
Then comes the conscious phase – the part we’re familiar with. This is where we start actively weighing options, but it’s far messier than we imagine. While we like to think we’re rational beings carefully analyzing pros and cons, our emotions are actually in the driver’s seat. That gut feeling you get? It’s not just a saying. Our body literally sends signals through our vagus nerve to our brain, influencing our decisions based on physical sensations and emotional responses.
Here’s what makes it even more complex: we’re not just choosing between options – we’re choosing between possible future selves. When you’re deciding whether to speak up in a meeting, you’re not just choosing between speaking and silence. You’re choosing between different versions of yourself: the bold contributor, the careful observer, the team player, the independent thinker.
And then there’s the social context. Our brains are constantly running background calculations about how our choices might affect our relationships, our status, our belonging. That’s why deciding what to wear to an important event can feel so overwhelming – we’re not just picking clothes, we’re navigating complex social signals and identity statements.
The most intriguing part? The moment of choice itself. That final commitment when we move from contemplation to action. Research shows that this moment often comes with a brief “blackout” in our consciousness – a microscopic pause where our brain transitions from deliberation to action. It’s like our neural circuits need a moment to switch gears.
But here’s what rarely gets talked about: the aftermath. Every choice we make reshapes our neural pathways, making similar decisions either easier or harder in the future. When you choose to wake up early to exercise, you’re not just making a decision for that morning – you’re literally rewiring your brain’s response to future early morning decisions.
And the choices we don’t make? They leave their mark too. Psychologists call it “choice closure” – our ability to make peace with the paths not taken. Some of us are better at this than others, which partly explains why decision-making can feel more overwhelming for some people.
Understanding this process doesn’t make our choices easier, but it does make them more interesting. It reminds us that decision-making isn’t just about the outcome – it’s a complex, beautiful process that reflects both who we are and who we’re becoming. Next time you’re faced with a choice, maybe take a moment to appreciate the incredible machinery at work inside your mind. After all, you’re not just making a decision – you’re participating in one of the most sophisticated processes in the known universe.
by admin | Dec 16, 2024 | Lifestyle & Work, Mental health, Well-being, Wellness
Happiness. It’s something we all chase. Right? Whether we’re climbing the career ladder, seeking love, or filling our days with hobbies, at the root of it all is the same goal: to feel happy. But what happens when it seems like happiness is always out of reach, dangling like a carrot we can never quite grab? Does it mean we’re powerless over our own happiness?
It’s easy to feel that way sometimes. Life throws curveballs—stressful jobs, broken relationships, health struggles—and we’re left feeling as though we’re at the mercy of the world around us. Happiness feels fleeting as if it’s something that happens to us rather than something we have any control over. But here’s the truth: we have far more power over our happiness than we realize.
Understanding What Happiness Really Is
First, let’s break down the idea of happiness. For many of us, it’s tied to external circumstances—having a great job, a loving partner, or financial security. And while these things can contribute to our well-being, happiness isn’t always about what happens to us. It’s often about what happens within us.
Research in psychology shows that three main factors influence happiness:
- Our Circumstances (e.g., our job, relationships, health)
- Our Genetics (some people are naturally more prone to positivity)
- Our Intentional Actions (how we choose to think, act, and react)
While we can’t always change our genetics or fully control our circumstances, we have a tremendous amount of influence over our actions and mindset—and that’s where the magic happens.
The Power of Choice
Think about the last time you were faced with a challenge. Maybe you were passed over for a promotion or had an argument with a friend. In those moments, it’s easy to let negative emotions take over. But what if you had a choice? What if, instead of reacting with frustration or self-pity, you paused and asked yourself:
- What can I learn from this?
- How can I grow?
- Is there a way to find joy or gratitude in this moment?
Happiness doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes, it requires effort. Choosing to focus on the good, to be grateful, or to look for lessons in hardship doesn’t mean ignoring pain or pretending everything’s okay. It means taking back your power by deciding how you respond.
Small Actions, Big Impact
The idea of “choosing happiness” can sound overly simplistic, but it’s grounded in science. Research shows that small, intentional actions can significantly improve our sense of happiness and well-being. Here are a few practical ways to regain power over your happiness:
- Practice Gratitude: Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for. Even small things, like a sunny morning or a kind word from a friend, can shift your mindset.
- Focus on What You Can Control: Life is unpredictable, but you always have control over your attitude, your actions, and how you treat others.
- Move Your Body: Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. A short walk or quick stretch can make a surprising difference.
- Connect with Others: Humans are wired for connection. Spend time with loved ones, reach out to an old friend, or simply smile at a stranger.
- Find Purpose in Small Moments: You don’t need grand achievements to feel fulfilled. Even helping a coworker or sharing laughter with family can give your day meaning.
Letting Go of the Myths
One of the biggest myths about happiness is that it’s supposed to be constant. The truth is, life comes with ups and downs. Happiness isn’t about being cheerful every second—it’s about building a foundation of well-being that allows you to weather life’s storms.
Sometimes, we also wait for happiness to arrive instead of creating it ourselves. We think, “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion,” or “I’ll feel better when I lose 10 pounds.” But happiness doesn’t live in some distant future. It’s something we can nurture right here, right now, no matter where we are in life.
You Are Not Powerless
So, are we powerless over our happiness? Absolutely not. While we can’t always control what happens to us, we can control how we think, how we act, and how we choose to experience the world. Happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at; it’s a practice you build, day by day.
Take a deep breath. Look around you. What’s one small thing you can do today to bring a bit more light into your life? Maybe it’s calling a friend, savoring your favorite meal, or simply pausing to appreciate this very moment.
Because in the end, happiness isn’t something you have to chase. You can create it—and you are more powerful than you know.
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