I think that many oldsters who have put our AA “booze cure” to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA—the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.
Those adolescent urges that so many of us have for top approval, perfect security, and perfect romance—urges quite appropriate to age seventeen—prove to be an impossible way of life when we are at age forty-seven or fifty-seven.
Since AA began, I’ve taken immense wallops in all these areas because of my failure to grow up, emotionally and spiritually. My God, how painful it is to keep demanding the impossible, and how very painful to discover finally, that all along we have had the cart before the horse! Then comes the final agony of seeing how awfully wrong we have been, but still finding ourselves unable to get off the emotional merry-go-round.
How to translate a right mental conviction into a right emotional result, and so into easy, happy, and good living—well, that’s not only the neurotic’s problem, it’s the problem of life itself for all of us who have got to the point of real willingness to hew to right principles in all our affairs.
Even then, as we hew away, peace and joy may still elude us. That’s the place so many of us AA oldsters have come to. And it’s a hell of a spot, literally. How shall our unconscious—from which so many of our fears, compulsions and phony aspirations still stream—be brought into line with what we actually believe, know and want! How to convince our dumb, raging and hidden “Mr. Hyde” becomes our main task.
I’ve recently come to believe that this can be achieved. I believe so because I begin to see many benighted ones—folks like you and me—commencing to get results. Last autumn [several years backed.] depression, having no really rational cause at all, almost took me to the cleaners. I began to be scared that I was in for another long chronic spell. Considering the grief I’ve had with depressions, it wasn’t a bright prospect.
I kept asking myself, “Why can’t the Twelve Steps work to release depression?” By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer…”It’s better to comfort than to be the comforted.” Here was the formula, all right. But why didn’t it work?
Suddenly I realized what the matter was. My basic flaw had always been dependence – almost absolute dependence – on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like. Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications, I had fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my depression.
There wasn’t a chance of making the outgoing love of St. Francis a workable and joyous way of life until these fatal and almost absolute dependencies were cut away.
Because I had over the years undergone a little spiritual development, the absolute quality of these frightful dependencies had never before been so starkly revealed. Reinforced by what Grace I could secure in prayer, I found I had to exert every ounce of will and action to cut off these faulty emotional dependencies upon people, upon AA, indeed, upon any set of circumstances whatsoever.
Then only could I be free to love as Francis had. Emotional and instinctual satisfactions, I saw, were really the extra dividends of having love, offering love, and expressing a love appropriate to each relation of life.
Plainly, I could not avail myself of God’s love until I was able to offer it back to Him by loving others as He would have me. And I couldn’t possibly do that so long as I was victimized by false dependencies.
For my dependency meant demand—a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me.
While those words “absolute demand” may look like a gimmick, they were the ones that helped to trigger my release into my present degree of stability and quietness of mind, qualities which I am now trying to consolidate by offering love to others regardless of the return to me.
This seems to be the primary healing circuit: an outgoing love of God’s creation and His people, by means of which we avail ourselves of His love for us. It is most clear that the current can’t flow until our paralyzing dependencies are broken, and broken at depth. Only then can we possibly have a glimmer of what adult love really is.
Spiritual calculus, you say? Not a bit of it. Watch any AA of six months working with a new Twelfth Step case. If the case says “To the devil with you,” the Twelfth Stepper only smiles and turns to another case. He doesn’t feel frustrated or rejected. If his next case responds, and in turn starts to give love and attention to other alcoholics, yet gives none back to him, the sponsor is happy about it anyway. He still doesn’t feel rejected; instead he rejoices that his one-time prospect is sober and happy. And if his next following case turns out in later time to be his best friend (or romance) then the sponsor is most joyful. But he well knows that his happiness is a by-product—the extra dividend of giving without any demand for a return.
The really stabilizing thing for him was having and offering love to that strange drunk on his doorstep. That was Francis at work, powerful and practical, minus dependency and minus demand.
In the first six months of my own sobriety, I worked hard with many alcoholics. Not a one responded. Yet this work kept me sober. It wasn’t a question of those alcoholics giving me anything. My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive.
Thus I think it can work out with emotional sobriety. If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these hobbling demands. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety.
Of course I haven’t offered you a really new idea—only a gimmick that has started to unhook several of my own “hexes” at depth. Nowadays my brain no longer races compulsively in either elation, grandiosity or depression. I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine.
This is the issue that so many people dismiss when falling into the same Freud vs. Jung “complex” as even they seemed to have done. First of all, Freud’s psychoanalysis would not have turned the 4th Step into the 1st Step. In fact, this program is LOADED with Freud all over it. When in the Big Book they make reference to “We needed to get down to causes and conditions” you are talking about analyzing exactly what is causing this drinking issue. When we turn our will and our lives over in Step 3 we have decided that based on analyis nothing but a Higher Power can help [us]. When I do a Sixth Step I am forced to take a look at my character defects and while I may initially not see them all, they usually come from Step 4 and an analysis of where our behavior comes from. When further on in the Program we continue asking for character defects to be removed in Step Seven becasue they continuously pop up we usually do a Fourth Step on something, quite impromptu but done none the less, and there we see that Freudianesque analysis again.
Shall I go on? I would like to reassure the world who believes Freud and AA could not coexist, that it is much more along the lines of people like C. Jung existing because of Freud. What was their disagreement? One wanted to expand while the other wanted to increase in depth? Individuals who discount Freud and applaud only Jung disregard where Jung even began thinking that a Spiritual solution was the only way. That came from analysis. Analysis he gained studying under Freud. The medical model is more binary than psychology. That being said, please do not discount where individuals gain their knowledge, neither their own thinking and how they apply it to their lives. If you choose the way of entropy to exponentially grow in all directions, my suggestion to you is to study Jung, but take a look at Freud and how he analyzed things. You may just see what made Jung decide Spirituality is the only way to go for an Alcoholic or other 12-Step Program Taker. And who knows, it may be the answer to someone asking the simple question of “Why?”
Creating motivation that flows seamlessly from our daily routines into our work, relationships, and broader life is about embracing a holistic approach—where the mind, body, and spirit work in harmony to fuel lasting drive and fulfillment.
1. Start with Purpose
Motivation springs from meaning. Connect your daily tasks, career goals, and personal relationships to a deeper sense of purpose. Reflect on what truly matters to you and regularly align your actions with your values and aspirations. When your life feels purposeful, motivation naturally follows.
2. Cultivate Healthy Habits
Physical well-being directly impacts motivation. Build simple, repeatable routines—like regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and enough sleep—that energize you throughout the day. Good health boosts your mood, sharpens your mind, and increases resilience to stress, allowing motivation to ripple into every area of your life.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Self-awareness is the bridge connecting all aspects of life. Pause regularly to check in with your thoughts, emotions, and progress. Mindful reflection helps you adapt flexibly, preventing burnout at work and improving the quality of your relationships by making you more present and engaged.
4. Build Supportive Connections
Surround yourself with positive, motivating people. Relationships that encourage growth and understanding strengthen your drive, whether at home or in your career. Celebrate achievements big and small, offer support, and openly communicate—this kind of network helps motivation thrive and transfers energy from one sphere of life to another.
5. Set Boundaries and Goals
Balance is key. Set clear, attainable goals in both your personal and professional life and give yourself permission to say no to overcommitments. Celebrate progress, not just perfection. By maintaining boundaries, you protect your energy and motivation, ensuring it’s available for what matters most.
6. Integrate and Reflect
Holistic motivation means tying all parts of your life together. Reflect regularly on how actions in one area influence others: learning a new skill at work can build confidence for personal projects; caring for your health can deepen your connections at home. Recognize these links and use them to create upward momentum in all aspects of your life.
Motivation isn’t just a fleeting feeling—it’s an integrated force built by daily habits, meaningful connections, and the pursuit of purpose. By nurturing your mind, body, and relationships together, you create a cycle where motivation continually renews itself—helping you approach success as a whole, fulfilledled person.
Have you ever faced a tricky problem and wished there was a method to find creative, practical solutions that truly work for people? That’s the heart of what design thinking is all about. It’s not just a buzzword—design thinking is a practical, people-focused approach that helps you tackle challenges, whether you’re building a product, improving a service, or driving organizational change.
What Is Design Thinking?
At its core, design thinking puts humans first. It’s about understanding real needs, and then coming up with ideas, testing them, and changing course as you learn. Rather than assuming what people want, you involve them in the process from start to finish.
The Five Stages of Design Thinking
Let’s break down the classic design thinking process. While every challenge is different, most journeys follow these five steps:
1. Empathize: Discover the Real Needs
Start by stepping into your users’ shoes. Listen, observe, and ask questions—how do they feel, what frustrates them, and what do they truly need? This stage is all about empathy and gathering real-world insights.
2. Define: Clarify the Core Problem
Armed with your new understanding, you narrow in on the most important challenge to solve. Defining a clear, human-centered problem statement helps keep your focus exactly where it should be: on people.
3. Ideate: Explore Possibilities
This is where the creative sparks fly. Bring together a diverse group and brainstorm as many solutions as possible—no idea is too wild at this stage! The goal here is quantity and variety.
4. Prototype: Make Ideas Tangible
Instead of endless theorizing, start building simple versions of your ideas. These prototypes can be sketches, models, storyboards—anything that helps people experience the idea in action.
5. Test: Learn and Refine
Finally, share your prototypes with real users and ask for feedback. What works? What doesn’t? Use their input to tweak your solution—or even go back to the drawing board. Testing is about learning quickly and improving constantly.
The Principles Behind Design Thinking
Design thinking isn’t just about the steps; it’s also about the mindset:
Empathy: Put yourself in others’ situations. Listen first.
Collaboration: Embrace diverse perspectives. Great ideas often come from teamwork.
Curiosity: Explore, challenge assumptions, and look for fresh angles.
Experimentation: Be willing to try, fail, and learn—then try again.
Flexibility: Stay open to changing your mind as new information comes in.
Why Does Design Thinking Matter?
When you start with people—not just technology or profits—you end up with solutions that matter, ideas that stick, and happier customers or team members. You’ll catch problems early, save time (and money), and create products, services, and experiences people actually love.
Bringing It All Together
Design thinking is more than just a process; it’s a way of working that encourages empathy, creativity, and action. Next time you face a complex challenge, remember: listen deeply, define the real problem, brainstorm without limits, prototype quickly, and learn from feedback.
Let design thinking guide you—you might be surprised at how far it takes you and your team.
Unlocking your potential and achieving ambitious goals—whether personal or within your organization—requires more than passion and strategy. Too often, individuals and businesses unintentionally sabotage their progress by neglecting the human side of goal achievement. For mission-driven organizations and leaders, shifting the focus from business priorities to prioritizing people is key to sustained growth and breakthrough results. Here’s how to leverage the principles of design, craft, develop, engage, elevate, and embrace to create systems and organizations that empower people, not just profit.
1. Design: Create with People in Mind
Every meaningful journey begins with conscious design. This means intentionally crafting environments, processes, and systems that put people at the center.
Map out systems that value well-being, collaboration, and creativity.
Involve diverse perspectives early, ensuring that solutions reflect the needs and aspirations of your team.
Design spaces—physical and virtual—that inspire connection and engagement.
2. Craft: Build Thoughtfully
Crafting is about paying attention to details and iterating on what works.
Set clear, human-centered goals that go beyond financial metrics.
Regularly review and refine workflows to remove friction points that cause frustration or burnout.
Use feedback not as criticism, but as material for improvement.
3. Develop: Invest in Growth
People thrive where development is both encouraged and resourced.
Offer meaningful learning opportunities at every level, from technical training to leadership development.
Develop mentorship and peer coaching programs.
Measure “people progress”—gains in skills, satisfaction, and motivation—alongside business KPIs.
4. Engage: Foster Genuine Connection
Engagement happens when people feel seen, heard, and valued.
Facilitate open dialogues where team members can share challenges, insights, and ideas.
Recognize individuals for both effort and innovation, not just traditional performance.
Foster a sense of belonging by celebrating differences and shared values.
5. Elevate: Lift Each Other Up
Great organizations focus on mutual support.
Empower team members with autonomy—trust them to make decisions and take calculated risks.
Create structures for cross-functional collaboration, allowing people to learn from each other.
Celebrate milestones and successes collectively, reinforcing the power of teamwork.
6. Embrace: Build Resilient Systems
Embracing means accepting and learning from setbacks, rather than letting them derail progress.
Implement feedback loops to continually refine systems and strategies.
Normalize conversations about challenges and failures—view them as opportunities to learn and grow.
Encourage a culture of adaptability so teams can pivot quickly and confidently in changing environments.
Building Human-Centric Systems: Practical Steps
Principle
Action Step
Impact on People
Design
Host collaborative workshops to co-create goals
Boosts ownership and alignment
Craft
Streamline processes with user input
Reduces stress and increases efficiency
Develop
Offer regular skill-building sessions
Grows confidence and capability
Engage
Recognize effort in real time
Increases sense of value and satisfaction
Elevate
Encourage team-led initiatives
Promotes leadership and engagement
Embrace
Debrief both wins and losses as a group
Builds trust and resilience
Why People-Centered Organizations Succeed
Organizations built on people-first principles experience higher engagement, lower turnover, and more innovative output. When you stop sabotaging your own goals by putting business metrics ahead of human experience, you create an environment where both individuals and the organization can flourish. A focus on design, craft, develop, engage, elevate, and embrace doesn’t just get you to your goals—it ensures you arrive as a stronger, happier, and more connected team.
By shifting your lens from “business only” to “people always,” you unlock the full potential of your organization—one human at a time.
Recent Comments