by admin | Oct 27, 2025 | AA, Addiction
Last Friday, I wrote on a list I share with the love of my life (I know that may sound “cheesy” to people. She is.) I admitted my powerlessness over… 1. being nervous, believing that something can make me sane again—from the nervousness—and convincing myself that taking that Leap of Faith called Step Three is possible. I will do my best to try it and succeed.
I was so nervous about this event. See, I was already there, but unlike how it feels to be present, I was nervous and hadn’t let go yet. Truly, predicting these thoughts, actions, and behaviors makes it so much worse than being in the moment and Mindful. I believe the only thing I need to do, instead of sitting and noticing so much this first time around, is see that everything is messy, I am feeling out of sorts, and I do not like it enough to not admit to myself that I am not doing well. It’s that simple. All this analysis I do —it’s unnecessary to start. This may be my issue. It may be someone else’s issue as well. But in the end, this is the true meaning of Step One: I do not like how this feels, and I do not know how to get things back in order. That, my dear friends, is Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Then, after analyzing too much, as I always do, I moved on to Step Two. Something has got to be able to fix this. I don’t know how to do it because I have tried and nothing has worked. Do I want to continue trying? I do. But am I willing to gain understanding from other perspectives as well to enhance my own abilities? To know more? To know better? I am, or rather, I was. And so, if I go back to the book, I may get confused. You see, we read things, and whether we remember a lot or not, they stick! When I focused on marketing, I once wrote a LinkedIn blog post about making things stick. How was it possible? How do we do it? Right now, I can say give it your best by being yourself, and it will stick much better than otherwise. Side note on marketing: that may be why I am not too keen on most brands; inauthenticity runs rampant. No judgements here. I am speaking of my own experiences, not of anything in particular. Maybe it’s me who is inconsistent, and I just don’t get it. We’ll see how things evolve. I know the steps. So I referred to God.
The thing is that God can serve as a placeholder just the same. I am not here to preach to any choir about God, nor anything. Let’s call it a placeholder for something that can actually help. Maybe it’s knowledge. Maybe it’s the truth behind what I am looking for. Perhaps it’s love, or so much more. See, I can go on about that, but it may take these thoughts off on a tangent for now, so… The idea is I need help. Please help me get this nervousness I cannot deal with away from me.
Off to Step Three. Whatever this thing I decided can help me figure this out, I’m going to sit there and say, “You know what, figure it out. Please help me out of this. Please show me how to do this. I am stubborn, I am self-sufficient, and I like to get things done, so please help out.”
And this is how I helped myself out on Friday. Did I get better? For sure. I then lived through the experience. Parts were fine, others were dreadful, but overall things were good. The nervousness went away. It wasn’t nervousness that I felt during those “not-so-good” moments. It was possibly confusion. It was me thinking I know what others are thinking. It was me wanting to know everything. It was me being an alcoholic and not being present. That’s how my alcoholism shows up these days. It’s not ugh, I need to get blasted! No, it’s F-You, possibly for reasons having nothing to do with reality, and needing to escape the fact that I do not know and want to know. I’m sitting in on a meeting right now, hearing “fear inventory,” and that’s why I say those things to others without saying much. It’s not anger. It’s pain. I don’t want to lose you. I didn’t say that during the presentation. That would not have been good, as it would have made me feel and behave worse. In the end I do believe this, my thinking is a bad neighborhood, I should not go there, it is never right when it’s hurting me, and I know that because I do have a concept of “God” and my God is loving and shows up and that “God consciousness” is not correlating with the pain so… where is that coming from? Ego. Not knowing what is true and what is not, and keeping me out of love, which is everywhere I do not want to be.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is my highly simplified explanation of Steps 1, 2, and 3. I hope it helps. If it does not, remember, this is my experience, strength, and hope. You’re writing your story, so take what works, what you can, and leave the rest. It’s free, and goes nowhere unless you take it.
God bless, and stay close to what helps you the most. Whatever that placeholder is for you. Let it show up for you instead.
by admin | Oct 22, 2025 | Lifestyle & Work, Mental health, Well-being
You know that feeling when you catch yourself mid-judgment, that split second where your brain has already categorized someone or something before you’ve even taken a full breath? Yeah, I’m intimately familiar with that moment. At 40, I’ve spent enough years wrestling with my own tendency to jump to conclusions to know how seductive and dangerous contempt can be.
It wasn’t until my late thirties that I really started understanding how deeply contempt before investigation had shaped my worldview. Growing up, I’d learned to armor myself with quick assessments, sharp observations, and what I mistakenly believed was “intuition.” In reality, it was just a protective mechanism—a way to feel in control by quickly sorting the world into neat, manageable boxes labeled “good” and “bad.”
Take work environments, for instance. I remember how swiftly I’d size up new colleagues. That guy who always wore wrinkled shirts? Clearly disorganized and unprofessional. The woman who spoke softly in meetings? Obviously lacking confidence. These snap judgments said far more about my own insecurities than about the actual people around me.
The turning point came during a professional workshop where we discussed unconscious bias. The facilitator challenged us to pause—truly pause—before forming an opinion. It sounds simple, right? But for someone who’d built an entire career strategy around quick assessments, this was revolutionary. What if, instead of immediately categorizing, I got curious? What if I asked a question instead of constructing a narrative?
This shift wasn’t just professional. It permeated every aspect of my life. I started noticing how quickly I’d form opinions about everything: restaurants, neighborhoods, political movements, parenting styles. Each judgment was a wall, preventing genuine understanding.
Learning to suspend contempt doesn’t mean becoming naive or losing critical thinking. It’s about creating space—breathing room between observation and conclusion. It’s recognizing that every person, every situation, carries complexity far beyond our initial impression.
I’ve learned that contempt is often a shield. It protects us from vulnerability, from the uncomfortable work of truly understanding. When we look down on something or someone, we don’t have to engage, to empathize, to acknowledge our own limitations.
These days, I try to catch myself. When that familiar surge of judgment rises, I take a breath. I ask myself: What am I not seeing? What story might be underneath this surface-level observation? Sometimes the answer surprises me, revealing layers of humanity I would have missed in my previous, more dismissive approach.
This journey isn’t about perfection. It’s about practice. Some days, I’m more successful than others. But each moment of caught judgment is a small victory—a reminder that life is infinitely more interesting when we approach it with curiosity instead of contempt.
by admin | Aug 24, 2025 | Food & Health
Ingredients:
- 2 cups rolled oats
- 1/3 cup maple syrup
- 1 ripe banana
Instructions:
- Prepare Pan:
- Heat a non-stick pan over medium heat.
- Combine Oats and Syrup:
- Add the rolled oats and maple syrup to the pan.
- Mash Banana:
- While the oats are heating, peel and mash the ripe banana in a bowl.
- Mix and Cook:
- Stir the mashed banana into the oats and syrup mixture.
- Continue to cook on medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until the mixture starts to clump together and becomes golden brown.
- Serve and Store:
- Remove from heat and let cool slightly. Serve alone or with your choice of milk.
- Store leftovers in a glass container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.
Notes:
- For a healthy option, try it with coconut milk, which complements the flavor well.
Enjoy your homemade banana cereal!
by admin | Aug 24, 2025 | Food & Health
Ingredients:
For the Refried Black Beans:
- 1 can of organic black beans, drained and rinsed
- ½ teaspoon Himalayan salt (or to taste)
- ½ teaspoon onion powder
- ½ teaspoon garlic powder
- ½ teaspoon dried oregano
- 1 tablespoon olive oil or butter (for frying)
For the Guacamole:
- 1 Haas avocado, peeled and mashed
- ¼ orange bell pepper, finely diced
- ¼ teaspoon black pepper powder
- ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes (adjust to taste)
- 1 teaspoon fresh lime juice (optional for extra flavor)
For the Topping:
- 2 slices of American cheese
- 2 tablespoons green salsa sauce
For the Base:
Instructions:
- Prepare the Refried Black Beans:
- In a skillet, heat the olive oil or butter over medium heat.
- Add the drained and rinsed black beans to the skillet.
- Stir in the Himalayan salt, onion powder, garlic powder, and oregano.
- Cook for about 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Once the beans are warmed, mash them with a fork or potato masher until you achieve a smooth consistency with some texture.
- Continue cooking for another 2-3 minutes, allowing the beans to fry slightly.
- Make the Guacamole:
- In a small bowl, mash the avocado until smooth.
- Stir in the finely diced orange bell pepper, black pepper powder, red pepper flakes, and lime juice (if using). Mix until well combined.
- Assemble the Dish:
- Spread a generous layer of the refried black beans onto each light rye cracker.
- Place a slice of American cheese on top of the beans. Microwave for 10-15 seconds, just until the cheese melts.
- Add a spoonful of guacamole on top of the melted cheese.
- Drizzle the green salsa sauce over the guacamole.
- Serve:
- Enjoy this flavorful snack or light meal with a refreshing beverage!
This recipe combines creamy guacamole with the savory refried black beans and melted cheese for a delicious bite on rye crackers. If you are not vegan, consider a sunny-side-up egg underneath the cheese! It would be delicious! Enjoy!
by admin | Aug 24, 2025 | Food & Health
Ingredients:
- 1 package Thai rice ramen noodles
- 1 block (8 oz) firm tofu, hand-broken into bite-sized pieces
- 1 tablespoon sesame oil
- ½ teaspoon Himalayan salt (or to taste)
- 2 cups kale, chopped
- 1 cup green beans, trimmed and cut into bite-sized pieces
- 2 tablespoons light sodium soy sauce
- Optional toppings: sesame seeds, sliced green onions, chili flakes
Instructions:
- Prepare the Noodles:
- Cook the Thai rice ramen according to the package instructions. Drain and set aside.
- Prepare the Tofu:
- Take the block of firm tofu and gently break it apart by hand into bite-sized pieces.
- Heat the sesame oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
- Add the hand-broken tofu to the skillet and season with Himalayan salt.
- Cook for 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the tofu is golden brown and crispy on the edges. Remove from the skillet and set aside.
- Cook the Vegetables:
- In the same skillet, add the chopped kale and green beans.
- Sauté for 4-5 minutes until the vegetables are tender but still crisp.
- Add a pinch of Himalayan salt to season the vegetables.
- Combine and Serve:
- Add the cooked Thai rice ramen and tofu back into the skillet with the kale and green beans.
- Pour the light sodium soy sauce over the mixture and toss everything together until well combined and heated through.
- Garnish and Enjoy:
- Serve the Thai rice ramen topped with optional sesame seeds, green onions, or chili flakes for extra flavor.
Using hand-broken tofu gives the dish a different texture, with some crispy and softer bits, making it even more satisfying! Enjoy!
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